Bible Humor

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'
Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!'

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'And all girls.' This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Be cause everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'
'That's at our house.' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'

Easter after-thoughts

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged....shame on me! The Lent season came upon us and I was so busy with things. Had a wonderful time of reflections and looking upon the cross. Lent is such a wonderful time of turning...of changing routines....of looking ahead with a sense of Christ's suffering....and then rejoicing! What a wide range of emotions we go through.

Snow Ice Cream

My friend told me how she made this with her kids when it snowed. Well we are aiming to get over a foot in the next two days so I will try it!
Snow Ice Cream
Ingredients:
8 cup snow, or shaved ice
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions
Place snow or shaved ice into a large bowl. Pour condensed milk over and add vanilla. Mix to combine. Serve immediately in bowls. Store the rest in the freezer.

Praise

"Praise isn't praise until God hears it.
Worship isn't worship until you hear God"

Baked Oatmeal

I brought this to our ladies Bible Study and everyone loved it. Here's the recipe:

BAKED OATMEAL

3 cups rolled oats
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. salt, 2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tsp. baking powder
1 cup milk
1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup chopped fruit (berries, apples, etc.)

In large bowl mix oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, baking powder and salt. Beat in milk, eggs, melted butter, and vanilla. Stir in fruit. Spread into greased 9X13 pan. Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes. Serve in a bowl with hot or heated milk.